Adjunct Life and the Perfect Bag_Spoiler I haven't found it yet

So every adjunct professor has to deal with this, carrying your office with you everywhere you go.  I know that many people have switched to digital for a lot of things, but my students do a lot of in-class work that they turn in.  And then there is the computer.  What is in my bag currently? 

1. My Chromebook (soon to be replaced by a Windows based laptop)
2. The charger for said Chromebook
3. 2 Sets of Exams that need grading
4. 2 Sets of lab exercises that will need to be completed over the next week
5. My Big Red Book.  The BRB holds all.
6. A sort of grade book, mainly to keep up with all of the student activities (active learning is a bitch)
7. Pens, pencils, a stapler, a hole punch
8. My wallet, toothbrush bag, a brush, my glucose meter, my glasses case, and other random personal stuff

What I would like to include in it: (1) A portable scanner, (2) My Big Pink Binder that also holds more than everything, and (3) A portable printer.  I loved my old portable printer but it has died a good death and is waiting for me in Valhalla. 

I cannot seem to find the perfect bag to hold everything.  And I have to haul breakfast, lunch, and snacks plus a gym bag.  So every day it feels like I have the means to simply escape and move to a small town in Arizona where I get odd jobs under a completely different name.  No, I haven't planned this out at all. 

Until universities understand the importance of keeping their adjuncts reasonably accommodated, I continue my quest for the perfect bag.  For now, I use a Samsonite.  The rolly part is pretty great.